Shorter Marxist: If I can’t get some of the money rich kids have, then rich kids shouldn’t have it either!

Some Toronto woman who bears an unsettling resemblance to Ezra Levant no longer wants to see kids raising money in bake sales and door-to-door chocolate bar drives, because the ones in rich neighborhoods make higher sales.

Ontario should ban school fundraising because of the “shocking” differences in amounts raised — but in the meantime Toronto’s public board should consider pooling such monies among schools to ensure fairness, says a report to be released Monday by Social Planning Toronto.

The report, in part using data obtained by the Star through freedom of information requests, says that the top 20 wealthiest public elementary schools in Toronto brought in almost $250,000 each over three years, and the neediest 20 schools less than $7,000 each.

“It’s quite shocking,” said Lesley Johnston, research and policy analyst for Social Planning Toronto, which is funded by the United Way, City of Toronto and Ontario Trillium Foundation.

“I can’t wrap my head around it, the sheer size of the differential. It’s overwhelming to think of the opportunities.”

Apparently it’s news to this guy woman that those in more affluent neighborhoods have more disposable income. Not noting, of course, that those in poor neighborhoods dispose of their income on cigarettes, bingo and scratch tickets, but I digress.

Conservative families have always wanted the opportunity to send their kids to school with the rich kids, because the schools are better, what with the lack of weaponry and all. This Marxist instead wants the rich schools to be just as rubbish as her kids’ school.

The best analogy for this is Canada’s “free” “health” “care” (three lies for the price of one!) where those with money can’t get service faster/better, thus clogging up the waiting lists for everyone else.

I have an idea: If this sadsack wants an affordable field trip for kids in poor schools, how about the city morgue? Give poor kids an education about their future!

All joking aside, I was born into an immigrant slum in Montreal, and my first school was dirt poor. Our field trips were awesome! They were simple and inexpensive. A trip to see how bagels were made. A trip to the botanical gardens. Easy, inexpensive stuff that we didn’t have to raise a lot of money to do.

As for selling chocolate bars, everyone knows the best way to do it is to send your stash to work with your dad and have him sell them to his coworkers. Then again, if you don’t have a dad, or dad doesn’t have a job, I see where that could be a problem. But that comes down to personal lifestyle choice, not government responsibility.

Social Planning Toronto hopes to make this an election issue, and will be asking questions of candidates at election education forums held in schools across the city on Sept. 20.

The NDP has already said the issue is one it will address in its platform, calling for changes to what has become a two-tiered education system, shortchanging students in lower-income neighbourhoods.

The report also notes that about 30 Toronto public schools have their own private foundations that fundraise — on top of any parent council activities — and that money does not have to be publicly accounted for.

Whine whine whine. Rich people have stuff! How dare they have stuff! If I have to be miserable, the rich kids have to be miserable too!

Fuck!