2 men fatally shot in random attack in Toronto: police
This is Toronto. Our shootings are rarely “random” here. I was downtown at a friend’s last night, and heard the sirens. Another bloody night in the city. I am still rather under the weather today, so I will let one of my betters do the opining.
As for stuff in the news…. Those damn Americans have killed two more Torontonians.
Two fine fellas were sitting in an SUV last night, minding their own business, I’m sure on their way home from their university course on space administration and aeronautics when they were gunned down for absolutely no reason.
They had really turned their lives around, but then it all comes to an end because those damn Americans keep shipping guns up here. If Americans would stop doing that, we would probably have no murders at all in Toronto because everybody is nice and wonderful and squeaky clean with the best of intentions.
If only more people would listen to Mayor Miller, things would be a lot better.
My theory is that someone set up a deer blind on the corner of Richmond and Niagara, and just weren’t very good at aiming. Those pesky hunters…
If only we had built more basketball courts, shut down more skeet shooting clubs, or registered more duck-hunting rifles, this terrible random tragedy would never have happened…